Goddess

awaiting, sometimes despairing

will things stay the same?

alone-some, never true

i feel trapped in my reality

extra sweetener in my coffee today

in need of it

it is natural, i say

the heat dancing off the surface of my cafecito

dancing stars off my peripheral

but they are just my candles

my lunar wax oils perfuming the air

ensuring i am protected & well

intentions have been set

for peace, love, & joy

the day is ready for me

see how i am doing my best?

i get closer & closer to my time

the stress increasing, cortisol spiking

i can feel my body preparing to shed

a cyclical process, once every single month

a shift of my hormones, an energy lapse

my brain’s not the same

my heart extra fragile

it takes a bit more inner strength to remain steadfast

but perhaps, i think to myself, 

my body is not asking me to hold on or to be strong

my patience runs thin, revealing to me what i can no longer support

what i once could bear is now impossible

nothing wrong with me

i am the Goddess of my world

& i can change whatever i do not like,

provided it is within my control

the rest must be let go

so, i remove what i can

say goodbye to old habits, people not good for me, & mindsets

reminding myself that how i feel matters deeply

& i choose to only keep around me that which improves my life

i used to believe i had to constantly adapt to outside stimuli

& learn to be at peace with it all

how wrong was i

how relieved i feel now to understand that is not always the case

in some matters~ yes, we must accept the sky cries, our bellies hunger,

& a new day begins every midnight

we cannot escape it, simply accept it

but how we choose to live our lives, that is up to us

& it took me far too long to realize i hold the power

but do not worry, i have awakened now

& i move however i decide

…

to be a woman with boundaries, beautiful

to be a woman who speaks up when she is uncomfortable, marvelous

to be a woman who feel every single thing deeper than the rest, admirable

to be a woman… oh! hardest thing in the world, but the most rewarding

if i could start all over & choose, i would still be a woman

in this life, & in every other lifetime

nothing compares to the beauty of a woman, the sensuality of a woman, the power of a woman

we go through the most, but once you learn to decenter men, religion, & society,

freedom reigns