Goddess

perhaps i have been too nice

& this has allowed them to treat me how they desire

i am so sorry to me

they must think me weak

i have to stop that all at once

withhold my love & support

not give it out as a reward for poor behavior

we are all going through something

myself included

they are no more special

in actuality, this being my life,

i need to treat myself the most lovely & special

it is my love, essentially

they see it, they crave it

knowing i am selective with it

makes them want it even more

…

life is full of busy bees

this we all know

it cannot get bypassed

so it seems

but if they wanted to,

they would make the time

perchance it is how they view me

someone not so deserving of their attention

i retreat

if i mattered to them,

they would never fail at making me feel it

& i will not stick around for minimal efforts

…

can love be enough to sustain me now?

love of self, love from source

stop wasting my time

my tolerance so low

better for me in the long run

i suppose

bs detector on high

can’t get past initial pleasantries

think i’m going to chase

what the fuck do i look like?

missed your first

no second chances here

if u think me too harsh,

i do not care

i am exactly who i think i am

…

on the brighter side of things,

i am the source & byproduct of the truest love

i am never without

love is me

& when i am in love,

i am simply experiencing the source of love itself~

my own self

i never fell in love with any of u

i fell in love with me

i fell in love with how i felt

though blinded

for a small while,

i felt good

never enduring

wouldn’t true love last?

wouldn’t it be everlasting & constant?

does not love understand,

& persist?

does not love know the truest you

& let it be known that is more than enough?

does not love remain mindful 

of the other person’s thoughts & feelings,

aiding them always without disgracing them?

true love they never give out

…

i suppose i should count myself lucky

the most honest~to~goodness love i have felt

derived from me

i know how to hold myself 

& sit at the brink of an intense feeling

without abandoning myself

or seeking numbness

it is not the most trouble~free learning experience

but it is imperative 

otherwise you will continuously pursue an escape

this cannot be escaped for long

before it finds you again

so, pay the closest attention while it is here

it has not come to inconvenience you

but to heal you

let it heal you

hold yourself like someone you love deeply & cherish wildly

do not desert yourself now

surround yourself with the aid of your beautiful angels

even in the darkest of sleepless nights,

i have never been without comfort

i embrace it

it is the hour of receiving