Goddess

i experienced the worst pain of my life this past year

the sweetness of a first love was taken from me

it was only a facade

successfully love-bombed & lured into a trap

her first chance, she attacked

& since then, i was never the same

i had to protect myself constantly

she had her hands at my throat

slowly sucking the life out of me

my power & my voice

i could not breathe

mirrored my childhood trauma

i desperately tried to rewrite my story

maybe i could win this time

maybe i would be worthy enough this time

but i was only sinking deeper into a faded memory

one where i would be stuck forever

like a loop

if i didn’t escape & run away

see, i have known this pain before

& i know that staying & fighting never works

they do not magically change

you have to run

please, Athena, run!

run & never look back

i know it hurts, & i know you’ve seen this coming

it will hurt for a while

3 months later, & here i am still picking up the pieces

the abuse of a narcissist hurts like no other

their strikes still sting

but you will rise, beloved

from the ashes like the beautiful phoenix you are

you will know better days

you will laugh & smile again oh so soon

before you even know it

she won’t be your first thought upon waking

she won’t haunt your mind

she won’t be the last thing you think about before a new day even dawns

the wounds will heal

you won’t remember what the pain felt like

& then you will meet her

the one destined for your soul

before you can blink, it will all be before you

but you have to leave her behind

can you do that, Athena?

i am cheering you on

right as 2026 is dawning

so close your eyes,

cut the cords,

& cry

let it all out

because this is the beginning of the end

we will never again know this pain

& that i can promise

see you soon, mi amor verdadero

xoxo